Tonight is the first time in a long while where I feel like something might be missing. But what? I guess that is for me to discover and the Lord to lead me to...

I'm ready to stop thinking about myself, caring about my notoriety and reputation in my sphere of influence.When did I turn into the person with a need to feel clever, pretty, funny? I'm sick of worrying about the way I look and feel, and comparing it to the way I've looked and felt in the past. The present is never good enough that way, I'm always looking ahead or behind.

I feel like I've become a judgemental person. Someone who is immune to the people around me who need the most compassion. My empathy for people is gone. Well, I feel very strongly for people suffering in the world, but I ignore my neighbor--someone who I could take the time to love and don't.

I'm sick of college if it means I'm in the middle of my selfish years.

But I need something more! For if I know the law but still can't keep it, and if the power of sin within me keeps sabotaging my best intentions, I obviously need help! I realize that I don't have what it takes. I can will it, but I can't do it. I decide to do good, but I don't really do it; I decide not to do bad, but then I do it anyway. My decisions, such as they are, don't result in actions. Something has gone wrong deep within me and gets the better of me every time.
It happens so regularly that it's predictable. The moment I decide to do good, sin is there to trip me up. I truly delight in God's commands, but it's pretty obvious that not all of me joins in that delight. Parts of me covertly rebel, and just when I least expect it, they take charge.<> I've tried everything and nothing helps. I'm at the end of my rope. Is there no one who can do anything for me? Isn't that the real question?
The answer, thank God, is that Jesus Christ can and does. He acted to set things right in this life of contradictions where I want to serve God with all my heart and mind, but am pulled by the influence of sin to do something totally different. --Romans 7:17-25 (the Message)