A father to the fatherless

My dad hit me once. I couldn't tell you why or how old I was...I know it was in the morning before school and that I probably smarted off, but I can still picture the back of his hand coming toward me. And the way I felt as I fell into the corner of the hallway, so small and helpless. That feeling will probably never leave me. But I wasn't hurt physically--my daddy would never injure me. He's a great dad, really. I've never, ever told anyone other than my mother about that fateful morning. Not my sisters, not my closest friends. But I feel like I have to get that out before I can sort through everything that I'm feeling right now--I'm not saying it for any kind of sympathy, I haven't thought about the incident in years because it is so insignificant. But I do have to say it because that 3 seconds of my life, when I made contact with his hand and started to fall away from him toward the ground, is the closest I'm ever going to feel to being fatherless.

One of my closest friends has always been, and will always be without a dad. Her mom and grandparents and aunt and uncle, and even her most loving boyfriend have more than filled any void he could have left, but she's been without just the same. And something happened recently that has mucked up all this crap that she's not felt in awhile, and she's feeling pretty fatherless right now. It has to do with letters and money and her coming to grips with the kind of man he really is. There seems to be no integrity in him at all, just the appearance of it. Growing up my friend's dad was always a touchy subject... I just knew that he stayed away and that's exactly what she wanted. He supported her as impersonally as he could... a simply check in the mail at the appropriate time. But once in sixth grade he mailed her a letter. She never read it. Today, after the past few weeks he's put her and her mom through, she told me that she feels justified in keeping him away from her heart the way she always has. And her saying that completely broke my heart. Because, why do I get a dad when she doesn't?

Sometimes I think God established a father/child relationship because there is nothing more natural and beautiful than a dad loving his daughter or son with all that he has. Playing with her, praying for her, providing for her. And it has always helped me understand God better, to think of him as a dad similar to mine. One who is constantly frustrated with his ungrateful, sometimes unloving child, but would do anything for her at the same time. But I also think God is our father because some people simply don't have one, or they have such an awful dad that they would be better off without. The Lord allows us to call him Dad because sometimes we just need one.

"Sing to God, sing praise to his name, extol him who rides on the clouds--his
name is the LORD--and rejoice before him. A father to the fatherless, a defender
of widows, is God in his holy dwelling. God sets the lonely in families, he
leads forth the prisoners with singing..." Psalm 68 5-6