So today I walked into the Registrar's office and dropped my educational ministries major. Yes. This might seem like a strange thing to you, since the ministry program was my initial reason for coming to Huntington. And there's that small fact that I'm going to be a minister when I grow up. There are a lot of reasons why I made the change--from a youth ministry major to a minor--but the primary one is that I felt convicted. To make a life change. To de-clutter my life. This might sound strange, but I feel like God has called me out of this major, and I feel really free.
The only reason I haven't done this sooner is that I was afraid of disappointing...everyone, but mostly myself. I thought I could do it. Two majors, but I really can't. Not and be the person I want to be in college. Someone who is open and available for her friends. And now, I can probably start that small group with Campus Life.
I've been exhausted this semester. And unhappy. And distant. I want to be real with people again, have time to have vulnerable conversations again.
Who knew, you drop a youth ministry major and suddenly you have time to actually do ministry.
Though I'm writing this at 4:42 a.m. in the news room, because I don't get to go to sleep until we put the Huntingtonian to bed, I feel very good. And free, did I mention that already?
1 comment:
Hang in there. Hardest lesson to learn is that we only answer to God - which is great. And really really bad... :) Either way - he loves us. Be encouraged.
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