Love is not against the Law

Derek Webb says this about love--

it's learning to admit
when you've had a hand in setting them up
in
knocking them down

love is not against the law
love is not against
the law

are we defending life
when we just pick and choose
lives
acceptable to lose
and which ones to defend

'cause you cannot choose
your friends
but you choose your enemies
and what if they were one
one and the same

Love is hard. I think that love in friendship is harder, because friendships can potentially be over. Most don't last forever. I've had to learn that in the last year with my best friend of six years, and even more recently as I've come back to school. People grow apart. Once you hit high school graduation, people start living live at all different speeds. Some leave the house, mature and never look back. Some get married young, and some look for ways to become independent without having to do anything more adult than put gas in our cars.

With family we know that we have to love each other no matter what. And I think that the danger of friendship is that, when people hurt us, or we feel slighted, the exit sign in the relationship comes into view. We think things like, "I don't need this," and "He/She is just not worth this."

These are ugly thoughts. I hate them. It makes me so sad that we invest ourselves in all the wrong things--jobs, possessions, people. Because people let us down. If, and when this happens, I think that it is the best priority check. So-and-So hurt my feelings and now I feel like my life is over... are my priorities in check, no. Friends, even the best, most selfless ones, do not hold the responsibility of making you feel good all of the time. And if that is how you view someone, as your source of entertainment, comfort or strength, you will always be left wanting.

And yes, blogging is a way to share your thoughts and feelings, but not at the expense of someone else's. Love is confrontational...let's deal with our emotions and stop veiling them behind our need to express ourselves on an irrelevant blog. It's really just cheapening the way we feel. And friends mean more than that, don't they? They just have to, or what's the point? I'll just sit here in my room and seek out companionship on the Internet. I'll join blogrings and facebook groups and I'll rack up names on my buddy list and stop having real conversations with anyone. If I'm not ready to be real with people, I might as well not bother interacting with anyone on a personal level. Because as my beautiful friend Kandace once said and I'll paraphrase, forced social interaction makes me uneasy.

I believe that blogs can be a great medium for self expression. But right now I hate what its becoming. A gossip ring and a safety net, where I can let someone else know how I feel without actually having to face them. Which is why I hope that no one feels targeted in this post.Believe me, I'm dealing with my issues on a more personal level than this post. This post is just me sorting out feelings. And when the situation warrants it, I'll be real with you. Promise.