And all this through self-reflection

I'm 20 years old, and I'm set in my ways.

I never meet anyone new anymore. Freshman year I did it out of survival. If I was going to make it so that I had at least one person to converse with in a day, I had to make a friend.

And I did meet some amazing people who have become my world. But that's it, it's my world. And when that delicate balance is threatened I go nuts. I do not step out of my comfort zone. Ever. Public speaking? No, thanks. And writing my column for the newspaper, where my thoughts and character and person are laid out there over two columns and 300 words? It is like pulling teeth to get that thing finished. Just the thought that someone could get to know me through that horrible column makes me sick. So I try to make it as poignant as possible without ever actually letting anyone in.

I haven't been on a date in over 2 years. And the number one reason, excluding the fact that I am a known feminist and man-hater--not to mention the scales underneath my clothes, is that I have refused to meet anyone. I don't make eye contact, actively listen or share myself in anyway with a person I meet. I shut them out. I don't have the time for anyone new in my life.

It has recently come to my attention that by shutting people out, even the evil male population, I could be limiting the opportunities God has out there for me. And while I do genuinely love my life right now and the direction it is leading, I'm not by any means comfortable in saying that this is all he has for me. But by not letting people in, that is exactly what I'm doing.

So tonight I did the unthinkable. One of many unthinkables I will probably allow in my life.
I let a friend set me up.

And it was hell. Utter torture at times...Completely awkward. He was shy and wouldn't talk and I leaned on my other friends there as this crutch and I hardly interacted with the poor guy at all. But at the same time, during all the awkwardness I could feel myself thriving underneath all the possibilities that meeting someone new brings into your life. And now, at the very least, I have a new facebook friend. Not so bad, really.

So I might be set in my ways, but I'm working on it. Promise.

It's been forever

I have tried to log on here and post countless times...but it wouldn't let me. I was beginning to curse blogger beta, but we can be friends again. Let me tell you, when this is your outlet for stress and frustration, not loading was just not going to cut it the past week and a half. I had to actually call a friend and complain about life for awhile, because that is what blogging is for me... kind of. anyway. Now that I am FINISHED with finals and heading home for break I have nothing to write about. Go figure. So instead I'm going to post my "From the Editor" column from this month. Hope you enjoy it.


So help me, I’ve become a blogger

“Spend the hour blogging, and you will discover many more free hours during the
day.”-Mickey Kaus

Sometimes your professor is right.

At least, mine was last fall. An adjunct professor assigned each of us to start a blog and write in it daily. It was a class that really relied on creative writing, and he said blogging would turn us into better writers.

Being the egotistical journalist that I am and believing I had reached my creative peak at 19, I took the assignment merely at face value. When I had time, I would blog.

Most of the time I would watch “The Gilmore Girls” instead.

I got through the class, the blogging assignment over. But I still found myself at my computer everyday, logging in to share a little bit of myself.

I started blogging about anything and everything. A class I was enjoying. A Bible passage I was wrestling with. A story about one of the amazingly quirky girls I live with on Roush 3rd.
It has become this great part of my day, where I can be my most creative and most honest self at the same time.

And the best part is there are no expectations. I can spell horribly and use the wrong punctuation. Leads don’t exist in blogs, and I never have to worry over whether or not an entry is flowing.

It is a writer’s dream.

Because let’s face it, no one reads your blog. The potential is out there for anyone in the world to log on and see what you have to say, but they don’t. I’m pretty confidant that two people in the world read mine consistently. And that’s okay. It’s not for you anyway.

Blogging has become my yoga. I can write whatever I want, whenever I want and it’s like a yoga class when the instructor turns the lights out. No one can see me wallowing around on the floor, trying to catch my balance.

So Greg Francis was right. Blogging has made me a better writer, and that’s great. But it has also started to define me in a way.

I am a blogger.




Anyway, that's my column for December... which contained a little shout out to Greg, the reason I have this blog.