Last week was busy, but a reallly good one. I forgot how nice it was to get a paycheck that was more than $87 every month, which is what I tried to live on during the year. Yay for money. Strike that, yay for not having to worry about money.

Lots of stuff is going on, but none of it interesting enough to put in this post. I'm just working, which means going to the office to plan and study all day, which I'm really enjoying, and hanging out with students in the evening. When I'm not with students, I'm hanging out with my lil' sis, who is in fact a junior in my youth group, or I'm sleeping. I'm not completely unpacked and settled in my room yet, so I have been floating from sleeping on the futon in my sis' room to the coach about every other night.

For Memorial day Lauren and I went up to Indy to hang out with our big sis Katie, who is living up there and going to Butler pharmacy school. We went to Circle Center and shopped, which turned out to be fun but pretty fruitless, and we had dinner at the Old Spaghetti Factory which was amazing. It was nice to have some uninterrupted time with her. I think it was the first time in 2.5 years that her boyfriend didn't call when I was with her. That made my day.

Todays agenda= going to the office, playing ultimate frisbee w/ students at 2:00, coming home and hosing the sweat of my exhausted body (it is going to be so hot outside), and driving to B-town to tan and buy the frames for my mom's b-day present. We are going to frame some portraits that I took of me and my sisters on Saturday when we were at Butler. It's going to be fun.

By the way, I'm now addicted to the show you see listed below this post. Katie bought and brought the first season home for me to watch a few weeks ago, and since then I have downloaded the entire second season to watch. I fell in love w/ Veronica's character. I'm sad that I have to wait until September before I can watch a new episode.

You might be a feminist if...

(*disclaimer: I read this on someone's blog... I only mostly agree with it)


A funny thing happens to girls in junior high schools across America. It doesn't happen to every girl, and it doesn't happen all at once. But it is widespread and well-documented. Girls change. They change from passionate, playful, competitive and intelligent girls into uncertain, self-loathing, depressed adolescents.

To put it another way: Girls start acting dumb. They trade their math books for "Seventeen," starve themselves, and quit the basketball team to become cheerleaders. Some of them do it enthusiastically, but others enter adolescence reluctantly, longing for the days when they could be... well, themselves.

And while almost everyone accepts this as just a way of life, some people see it as a tragedy.

This phenomenon is discussed in several articles and books, the most prominent of which is probably Reviving Ophelia by Mary Pipher, PhD. It has no single cause, it is a byproduct of patriarchal culture, just like unequal pay, double standards, stereotypes, sexist assumptions, and contradictory rules for females.

A young woman once told me that she'd never be a feminist because she'd never experienced sexism. But sexism is still present in America - in fact, it's everywhere. If anything, it's just become more subtle.

My bet is that every woman (and probably every man) has experienced at least a few, and probably hundreds, of patriarchal injustices.

And anyone who opposes an injustice based on gender - whether they're male or female - is a feminist, or at least, they can be said to hold some feminist views. Despite what backlash has claimed, feminism is nothing more than the powerful notion that women and men deserve to be treated equally.

If you're tired of being defined by who you date and having your accomplishments marginalized or ignored, if you're sick of being "the woman behind the man," you might be a feminist.

If you got angry because your health teacher told you, "A guy who has sex has nothing to lose, but a girl has her reputation", you might be a feminist. (I didn't make that up, a teacher really told my 8th grade class that. It was 1998.)

If you've ever been legitimately angry and been accused of "just PMSing," you might be a feminist.

If you think it's unfair for a rape victim to be asked if she's a virgin at her rapist's trial, you might be a feminist.

If you got mad when you realized your guidance counselor was discouraging all the girls in your school from taking upper level science courses, regardless of their skill levels, you might be a feminist.

If the female members of your Homecoming and Prom Court were all cheerleaders, while you were on the volleyball team. If you've noticed a female sports star has to be an Anna-Kournikova-sex-symbol to get on a Wheaties box, while plenty of famous male athletes are about as appealing as John Kruk... you might be a feminist.

If you want to be paid the same wage as a man who does the same work as you... Who are you kidding? You're a feminist.

If you want to be offered an opportunity for career advancement, instead of having your boss assume that you'll be leaving in three years to have a baby, then face it - you're a feminist.

If you are pro-contraception, wake up - you're a feminist. If you don't think it's fair you have to pay $50 a month for your birth control while your insurance provider covers prescriptions for Viagra, you're a feminist.

If you would like to see the wealthy nations of the world fight against global female genocide and female genital mutilation, honor killings, bride burnings, and other atrocities against women - you might as well be a card-carrying feminist.

If you are not a feminist, at least in this most broad definition of the word, you're either a chauvinist, a misogynist or a doormat.

If you think I'm misrepresenting feminism, you can look it up in any dictionary or encyclopedia. You can do research on sites such as National Organization for Women or Feminist Majority Foundation. Or, check out these great feminist books: The Feminine Mystique by Betty Friedan, A Room of One's Own by Virginia Woolf, The Second Sex by Simone De Beauvoir, The Women's Room by Marilyn French, and Feminism is for Everybody by Bell Hooks.

It's important to note that not all feminists are activists. Feminism is both a frame of mind and a movement.

But if you are a member of America's Silent Majority... whenever you're ready to start acting up, the rest of us could really use your help.

I feel so out of context...

Today I realized something when I was visiting students at the high school for lunch. I have talked to my parents less this past week than when I am at school, which is three hours away. I live at home, that is just pathetic. So I decided to run down the hall and see my dad really fast before he left for lunch, and he invited me to come back in a half hour to watch his kids dissect rats. Seriously. That. Is. Disgusting. I told him I'd pass, then I made a mental note to sit with him on the couch sometime this week so we could cuss at the Reds. Now, that is quality father-daughter time.

Lauren and I have been together A LOT though. She's actually turning into someone I like to hang out with, and I'm pretty sure that I never thought that would happen. We got Netflix for the summer and we've got about a thousand we plan to see together. Plus, anytime I'm "working" at a youth event, I get to hang out with her. Such fun, I'm in a pretty good situation.

It is a beautiful day outside. I think I'll help my dad in the yard. Get some free tanning in. Right now, my arms resemble a farmer's (Darn you, tennis class). This is not good. I have to look cute in a shiny blue dress in 18 days. Need to work on the tan a little bit more. Blah Blah Blah. My life is Boring. Blah Blah Blah. I'm out, talk to ya soon.

My half-life...

Home has been so strange. Strangely wonderful, actually. A lot of good things have happened, and some completely odd things too. Like I lost our trash bags at home. They are in my room somewhere, but I've yet to find them after searching for four days. I have also become addicted to yet another show... I'm sue it is slowly killing me. But I'm really into Veronica Mars, my big sis bought the first season on dvd and I fell in love with the character not because she is necessarily real, but because she is fearless. She kicks butt on a daily basis, and sometimes that is just fun to watch.

But my last week here hasn't really felt like my life. I haven't seen any of my home friends, not counting my church peeps. I haven't been on any deadlines, which I always am at school with the paper and journalism classes. I've sepent a lot of time with my lil sis and my mom, both of whom I have begun to build real, non-familial relationships with. I don't feel the obligation to spend time with them anymore, when I'm at school I find myself longing for it. So I'm not going to label this last week as my summer self yet... I kind of feel like Hugh Grant in "Notting Hill," like I "live a strange sort of half-life." But its been very enjoyable, I do admit... and God and I have been spending some much-needed, uninterrupted time together.

I re-reading Donald Miller's Searching For God Knows What, and a passage resonated with me that I hadn't thought about before--

My friend Penny's dad says he thinks God was angry for a while after the Fall, then got over it, sent His Son, and now is pretty well adjusted and forgiving. And of course I don't think that is exactly how it is, but I can understand why Penny's dad would read the Bible this way. But my other friend John MacMurray says that every time he gives the Bible to a person to read for the first time, even if they don't agree with it, they see God as a Person who is incredibly patient with humanity. John pointed out that it takes God hundreds of years to finally get angry enough to lay any sort of punishment on His enemies. He's like France in this way.

When I read that yesterday I thought about Michael and my junior year in Spanish class. Michael, out of the blue one day turned to me and said that the he can't stand the Bible because it contradicts itself. Now, my sixteen year-old self was utterly offended that Michael would bash my God's very own word right in front of me. I told him that I absolutely believed everything the Bible said, but thinking back I'm not sure how much of the Bible I actually had studied. But I can relate to him now. On the surface, Yahweh has two polar sides, there is no consistency at all. He is completely just in how he writes off his people-- "If you do not carefully follow all the words of this law, which are written in this book, and do not revere this glorious and awesome name--the Lord your God--the Lord will send fearful plagues on you and your descendants, harsh and prolonged disasters, and severe and lingering illnesses" (Deut. 28:58-59). He warned us, and we broke his trust. But then comes the beautiful injustice of God, which is embodied in Christ's birth, death and resurrection. We disobey, and God's takes on our punishment for us.

So yes Michael, the Bible is pretty inconsistent, but I'm personally thankful that I'm not held accountable for the payment of my sins. I used to get peeved when my parents grounded me from the television... what would it be like to get punished for every crappy thing I did, and the things I just can't seem to stop doing?

"The Intern"

As soon as I wrote my title I thought it sounded like a competitor to "the Apprentice." How stupid would that show be, probably vh1's version with Flava Flave or Danny Bonaduce as the host. Amazing. Anyway... I promise I haven't got sucked into the illusion that is reality telelvision, but the intern is my new identitiy for the summer. I'm the student ministries intern at my home church this summer.

So far, I've eaten lunch with students, wrote a letter to a few of 'em, and played ultimate frisbee...Which I should probably look into as a profession, I'm pretty good (and a total liar, apparently.) And I have slept A LOT since I have been home. It feels amazing. Plus, I'm reading for fun. I guess all of the life wasn't sucked out of me last semester, like I originally thought.

Being home has been an experience so far. Not saying if it's been a good or bad one, because I'm not even sure yet. My b-day was Saturday and absolutely NO ONE made a fuss over me, which I hate, so it was pretty much the perfect day. Plus, my sister's bought me Sephora and a yoga mat. They love me, its true. My mom and I are heading on a shopping trip to some of my favorite stores soon... well maybe not soon, just when we both have the time. But it will be fun. And Friday I am going to go hang out with my former best friend who is newly brainwashed and engaged. Our interaction is always so surface-level anymore and I'm at the point where it doesn't seem worth it to even bother. But alas, she's my Heidi... bring on the awkward silences.

Hmm... the best thing about being at home. Dinner is fixed every night for just four people... not 1000, so it has flavor and food group variation. Home sweet home.

Since the craziness is winding down... maybe I'll post

One more exam and I'll be halfway done with my undergrad. Its a sigh of relief right now, because the past two weeks have been crazy, and really beautiful. And two of my favorite people are living their last week in the dorm, I'll miss my Kristi and my Nichole, but I'm super excited for both of you.

This year I've learned that most days, I don't want to be here. That sounds really bad, because Huntington truly is a beautiful place for me, with amazing friends. But as I sit in classes teaching me how to write and teaching me how to minister, I get this incredible, most anxious urge to actually write and to actually minister.

Which leads me to the only reason I'm excited to leave my comfortable dorm room on my safe campus for the summer. I get to do what I've been anxious for, I get to hang out with students all summer and I cannot describe to you how excited I am to actually be working in the church. Something that really has been four years in the making, I've felt God pulling me in that direction since I was 16. I'm scared and excited. And scared, and so blessed to be weening myself into it by working at my home church with students I already, for the most part, have some sort of a relationship with. People have been encouraging me in every possible way this spring. And I have to say that Dr. Bergler is going to be the best internship mentor ever. I wish he was my real advisor... because then at least I would have one who wasn't trying to fail me in practicum. *Sigh* I promise, I'm over it.... starting May 15, I've got a real, go to the office, love on kids internship. Words cannot describe my delight--God is just so good.

Oh, and I'm currently mad at the Gilmore Girls. We're feuding right now, and I'm not sure if we are going to make amends. My one comfort in life, though it sounds pathetic, is that on Tuesday nights, after I get home from Emmaus (my young adult small group at church), Rory and Lorelai are in my vcr, ready to make me happy. And now Lorelai is a whore and I am mad at her. But next September, all will be better, and hopefully the show will get funny again. Depressed Lorelai isn't that quick-witted. I miss it.

What I Learned Watching Laguna Beach

-Its okay to hook up with all of your friends.. "Hook up" means having sex. But if you say hook up it doesn't sound that bad.
-A four year old car is an antique.
-When your dad is the pastor at a mega church, you are rich enough to pay for an audtion on broadway, even if you are a horrible singer.
-What happens in Cabo, stays in Cabo.
-When your dad is a businessman, you get a new car for graduation. When your dad is a minister, you get a leather bound NIV study Bible.
-You can graduate from high school and not understand how a cable car works.
-Its cool to buy a vespa, because they come in lots of colors and you get a matching helmet.
And now, a little vocabulary lesson:
"That was a trip, it was a trip and a half."
"I'm amped."
"That is so rad."
"We are so dunzo."

On page 23...

And I have about 6 more to go. Not to mention the Hebrew quiz, and interview I have tomorrow. Oh, and there are TWO more papers due this week... and an exam.

Right now, school is the bane of my existence. Strike that, it is my only existence. How sad and pathetic. I want it to be over so badly. I think this week might kill me. The. Worst. Week. Ever.

'Cause I'm a Toys 'R Us Kid...

I'm really enjoying the fact that I am not at a point where I have to make any grown-up decisions. Today in interpersonal we had a discussion about whether or not it is right/traditionally okay for a woman to want to keep her maiden name, or hyphenate her name when she gets married. A lot of really good points of view were shared, and it got me thinking and I decided what I would do if I ever got into an engagement situation.... I'm lying, I have no freaking clue what I would do.

That's why I love the way my life is right now... I don't have the power, or really the opportunity to make grown up decisions and I really like that. Of the four of my best friends from high school, one is married and one is engaged. One lives with her boyfriend, and the other is just like me--we get bored with the same guy and never want to grow up...plus school dominates our lives, and we love it that way. So, let's just say that with that, plus my two close friends from HU who are engaged, I'm feeling a little behind in life. I love it though. Call me Peter Pan, 'cause I don't feel like I ever want to grow up.