Went and saw The Goblet of Fire last night. Mixed feelings about it, but they were mostly good. Most of the stuff from the books was done really well. The last few scenes were good, terrifying though. Man oh man I'm sleep. Did you know four hours of sleep wasn't enough. That's why I'm back to bed right now, so I can safely drive home today. Watching this movie was so sad, and a little awkward because of who was sitting in front of us. At some point, I become confused about how my love for someone in Christ looks like when they are complete and utter jerks and I would be happy not seeing them ever again.

"It's all right children. Life is made of of meetings and partings. That is the way of it. I am sure we shall never forget [Ben Newhouse] or this first parting that was among us." --Charles Dickens, A Christmas Carol (my interpretation)

I'm worried about the holiday season and what this looks like in my family without Ben. Last year at Thanksgiving, I was in a photo class. My assignment was to make a large photo spread of my family Thanksgiving. It was such a blessing from God because I got these great shots of Ben, black and white pictures of him. They are not attractive, he looks very weak and these pictures would probably not be beautiful to anyone outside my family, but I cherish them.

Sometimes I forget and use the number eleven when talking about my cousins. But there are ten of us now. The last time our family was together, I didn't bump into a huge wheelchair, not one time. I miss that. I miss Ben. This just makes me so sad right now.