"It's all right children. Life is made of of meetings and partings. That is the way of it. I am sure we shall never forget [Ben Newhouse] or this first parting that was among us." --Charles Dickens, A Christmas Carol (my interpretation)

I'm worried about the holiday season and what this looks like in my family without Ben. Last year at Thanksgiving, I was in a photo class. My assignment was to make a large photo spread of my family Thanksgiving. It was such a blessing from God because I got these great shots of Ben, black and white pictures of him. They are not attractive, he looks very weak and these pictures would probably not be beautiful to anyone outside my family, but I cherish them.

Sometimes I forget and use the number eleven when talking about my cousins. But there are ten of us now. The last time our family was together, I didn't bump into a huge wheelchair, not one time. I miss that. I miss Ben. This just makes me so sad right now.