So this afternoon I happened to catch a really great episode of SNL w/ Scarlett Johansson and Death Cab for Cutie, which in itself makes it a great episode. But the weekend update made it great. Tina Fey and Amy Poehler played this game called the Nutbird News Quiz, where Fey read a quote and Poehler had to decide if it came from the mouth of Roberston or a crazy homeless man who lived down the street. It was hilarious, and prompted me to research some of the most asinine and classic Robertson quotes. Here are my favorites--Dumb things Pat Robertson said:
"Just like what Nazi Germany did to the Jews, so liberal America is now doing to the evangelical Christians. It's no different. It is the same thing. It is happening all over again. It is the Democratic Congress, the liberal-based media and the homosexuals who want to destroy the Christians. Wholesale abuse and discrimination and the worst bigotry directed toward any group in America today. More terrible than anything suffered by any minority in history." --Pat Robertson
"(T)he feminist agenda is not about equal rights for women. It is about a socialist, anti-family political movement that encourages women to leave their husbands, kill their children, practice witchcraft, destroy capitalism and become lesbians." --Pat Robertson
"I'd like to say to the good citizens of Dover: If there is a disaster in your area, don't turn to God, you just rejected him from your city. And don't wonder why he hasn't helped you when problems begin, if they begin. I'm not saying they will, but if they do, just remember, you just voted God out of your city. And if that's the case, don't ask for his help because he might not be there." --Pat Robertson, after the city of Dover, Pennsylvania voted to boot the current school board, which instituted an intelligent design policy that led to a federal trial.
"You know, I don't know about this doctrine of assassination, but if he thinks we're trying to assassinate him, I think that we really ought to go ahead and do it. It's a whole lot cheaper than starting a war ... We have the ability to take him out, and I think the time has come that we exercise that ability. We don't need another $200 billion war to get rid of one, you know, strong-arm dictator. It's a whole lot easier to have some of the covert operatives do the job and then get it over with." --Pat Robertson, calling for the assassination of Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez
This one is related to it:"Wait a minute, I didn't say 'assassination.' I said our special forces should 'take him out,' and 'take him out' can be a number of things, including kidnapping." --Pat Robertson, clarifying his call to assassinate Hugo Chavez
"Many of those people involved with Adolph Hitler were Satanists, many of them were homosexuals -- the two things seem to go together."--Pat Robertson
"It's one thing to say, 'We have rights to jobs ... we have rights to be left alone in out little corner of the world to do our thing.' It's an entirely different thing to say, well, 'We're not only going to go into the schools and we're going to take your children and your grandchildren and turn them into homosexuals.' Now that's wrong. -- Pat Robertson, 1992
And here it is... possibly the most insane thing uttered by a person, ever:
"When I hit 570 pounds, it was a big deal. I called everybody in the gym to come look at what I'd done. Then one Saturday we went up to 800 pounds. Then later my doctor who was working with me got me up to 1,500. I went up 1,400, 1,500, 1,600, 1,700 ... in one day. The last time, it was one lift, I went 2,000 pounds." --Pat Robertson, on his ability to leg-press a ton.
