I think I had an anxiety attack yesterday.Who am I kidding? I definitely had one. My heart started racing and I couldn't breathe. I was sitting at my grandparents' house... there were six of us there in a confined space and everyone was talking and talking, and asking stupid questions and it got to be too much. Too much for me to handle. I couldn't find an empty room so I went into the garage and calmed myself down. Afterward though, it was like I was on edge. I love my family, and I love visiting my grandparents and going to my cousin's wedding that evening was sort of fun. I just feel like sometimes I cannot handle being around other people... at least people I care about... I don't want them to think I am annoyed with them or don't like them. I think that is why I'm always fine at work, because ultimately I feel free to be myself there. When I'm annoyed with someone or I don't want to talk anymore, I just do what I want, which is retreat back into my own little world.
Lately I just want to be by myself. I have stopped making phone calls and talking to friends I usually speak with every day. I have been turning my phone of more and more, too. i just feel like i need space or something. I don't really know why.
Sorry if you feel like I haven't been there for you... I can't help it right now. Maybe I am a loner.
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