They are categories that are easy to distinguish, and easy to identify yourself with. Right now, you've placed yourself in one, or the other. And if you aren't sure, you might be in denial. Or maybe, just out of touch. So I'm going to help you a little bit. Answer these questions, and if you get mostly yes'... then you get to join those of us who missed that part of the public education system that actually teaches you how to lead a productive life.
Just kidding... any questions would be a little too autobiographical for comfort. And I just don't know you that well, oh few readers of this "blog." I like to keep my secrets to myself. But I will tell you which group I belong to. As you might have guessed, I most definitely do not have my crap together. Because those who do would not be writing about it. They have much more important things to be taking care of. Like, they probably have exercising to do. They might be watching an enriching documentary on PBS where they won't just be made to feel guilty for 20 minutes before they move on to less stimulating television, they will be moved to action. Nope, I'm just your average member of mediocrity, looking over at those people who make it seem easy. Wondering how they manage to get up in the morning, find meaning in what they do, and contribute to this world in more than a banal, rat-race sense.
To me, the poster child for a life well put together is my big sister. She's successful in all the important ways, and the not-so important ones. And she's a good wife and sister and pharmacist and friend and person. And even if she's not perfect, she has the air of perfection swimming around her. I could never begrudge her any of this, because she works hard.
But I do have one question. Why does her life look like it was ripped from a page in the Crate and Barrel catalog, and mine look like I threw it together with the stuff I found in the dumpster behind my house? And I'm not talking about money... I don't care about having stuff. But I mean, my sister and I are very, very similar people, as much as we'd probably like to deny it. So why then, does she have it together and I don't? Why is living not something we are born capable of? It should be more natural, more involuntary, like breathing.
I just realized that it looks like I'm picking on my sister, but I'm not. I love her and I'm glad that she's dwelling happily in the together category. I am judging her, but to be fair, we all do that every day. I look at my neighbors, co-workers, family members, celebrities, etc. And I place them in one category or the other. And then I break it down into subgroups. "Well I know I don't have it together, but at least I'm not sinking as low as so-and-so." It makes us feel better, to know that there is someone out there who sucks at life a little more than we do. Or even better, we try to denigrate those who have figured out how to live a good life. You know, the whole "Well, he's successful but I'm sure he has a miserable home life. Or he's secretly a pedophile. Or he cheats on his taxes."
It all seems a little hopeless, doesn't it? This way of categorizing the human race. What would it look like if instead dividing people into these groups, we just started placing value in people? In our neighbors, co-workers, family members, celebrities... What if that value assigned to us is the catalyst that drives us to live above the normal, the sucky, the failure?
What if the most important person to place value in is yourself? If we could figure that out, then maybe we could stop the comparing, the wishful glances at other people who have learned the secret.
"I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through him who gives me strength(value)" -Philippians 4:12-13 (my word in parentheses)
1 comment:
For what it's worth the secret to having it all together, as your sister does- it's your outward appearance. A lot of people see me as organized, efficient, confident, clean, etc etc. It's really just what they see. If you saw what my husband sees you would know that I am able to do what everyone sees because I neglect things behind the scenes. My house is a disaster, and my hubs is my lifeline and crutch. But I never let it show.
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